You heard me say (or rather didn't) there were to be reviews? Official, Stately, and Grandly Designated Review of Victor Hugo's Epic "Les Misérables"

A short PREFACE:

It was not arduous. Trekking through twelve-hundred some pages is hardly a carefree task, and indeed I became burnt-out on it about one-quarter of the way through. Oh, yes. It was "Cosette" so precisely so.

This is my original, unchanged, and slightly refurbished review... It contains my notes, ruminations, and many, many spoilers. When you concentrate on the large capital letters, skip under the next capital letters, gentle Reader...Otherwise I am not liable for any spoilers sustained, my deep apologies.

It is divided into parts...i.e., "THE EDITION" "TEH WRITING". It is five pages, took one week. The beginning lines of it are my notes, from, well, page 729 onwards. Good luck.

*alarum* *glorious banners* *palanquin bearing scroll enters*

THE NOT-SO-OFFICIAL REVIEW OF HUGO'S "LES MISÉRABLES." (Also known as: Victor Hugo's "Read It And Weep."

Chapter IV| Epic of Saint Denis.

I wonder if this portion was written before or after V. H.'s opinion of Napolean III declined.

p. 729. A hammer nailing a metaphorical coffin of Poland is arguably ill-omened no matter what, eh?

p. 730. ...And here there will presumably be a coffeehouse proprieted by one Monsieur Defarge and his wife. Darn, wrong revolution.

p.736. N.B. Research "Ca ira".

Book II of Epic of Saint Denis. "Éponine."|

p. 746. Marius and Marianne Dashwood should form a club. Would like to elaborate, due to long-windedness, but I figure it's pithy enough left standing and not drenched in loquacity... back to Les Miz.

p. 746. Marius really shouldn't be knocked off.

p. 747. You need a telephone book, Marius.

p. 748. Law affiliates in books about the French Revolution duel: Sydney Carton vs. Marius. Funny how  "lawyer" was a lowly profession then, unlike now!

p. 744. If a love triangle happens to present itself!!!!

p. 755. Inter-classic shipping: Marius Pontmorency and Marianne Dashwood.

p. 757. Please tell me Éponine doesn't die ☺.

p. 780. Cosette: "Father, why do you eat miserable bread like that?"
          Jean Valjean: "Because Reasons, my daughter."
          Cosette: "...Well if you eat it, I shall eat it."
Blackmail! Da dum daa!

p. 795. Wouldn't it be nice if you could distinguish between Gavroche, Enjolras, and other-Enjolras? For the first and last it's easy, I concede the point.

p.796. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Victor Hugo, did you just say all black-skinned people are slaves?

p. 800. So, basically, Marius follows the tenet of: "I don't want to cheer up, it's nicer to be miserable?"

p.806. Narm... "Thou art" really Marius?

p. 808. If Cosette still doesn't realize this is Marius writing that epistle...!!!!!

p. 809. I think you should play video games, Marius, it's a little more productive than spooning.

p. 810. ...

p. 813. Cosette that was the most sensible reaction.

p. 814. *angels sing on high*

p. 822. Now finally I can figure out who Gavroche is!

Review to come.

Out of many one of the most striking things about this  work of literature is the grasp of atrocious wars. It doubtlessly magnifies the greatness of human nature, but it makes it a jolly good read in the process.

Summaries and millions of them have hitherto been written so it's redundant to write another, beside the fact they normally are used to fill up space...Yes, you know I'm right.

The writing is immediately tiresome to any reader, its level of irksomeness depending on the translation. It might take a while to begin properly; but once it does I promise it will not be regretted to read it. Despite their limited appearances; I don't think Monsieur Mabeuf and Javert (The latter is definitely far more prominent in the movie though. I know that with absolute certainty without having watched it.) can be denominated as plot devices. Almost with Javert... but not quite.

How can I begin to explain the ineffable quality of this book? Adjectives may not describe it all. Striking, frightening, amazing, incredible, unbelievable, realistic, romantical, saccharine, poignant, charismatic. And that is just the beginning. Although as aforementioned it is aggrandized human nature is so heartrendingly rendered: Jean Valjean, Marius, Enjolras, Éponine I can only minimally complain.

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Well I daresay it sounds I am more enamored with this review than the book it is reviewing! So I shall amend that. (Or attempt to, I think the review's pretty great).

I will make one thing abundantly clear: Cosette was a love-hate character. At first she's selfless and cheerful than she's spoilt and frivolous and back again.

Cosette: "Father, why do you eat miserable bread like that?"

          Jean Valjean: "Because, my daughter."

          Cosette: "...Well if you eat it, I shall eat it."

To effectively SPOILER: SPOILER: SPOILER being responsible to the broken hearts of four different people. Admitted that is not her fault. SPOILER-END: SPOILER-END: SPOILER:END. One thing must be made abundantly clear and that yes, I am not a proponent of everyone being sad in the entire book... But her silliness and saccharinity was nearly about to drive me berserk.

For our erstwhile hero, Jean Valjean I shall dedicate the next few paragraphs.

*clears throat*

Right. One: He steals two loaves of bread. Not one. Tho' "a loaf of bread" sounds better. Two: He also steals forty sous which is approximately three pennies in modern American currency. Three: You see, Javert is rather indifferent to chasing after him for three-quarters of the book. Four: He was in jail for nineteen years for trying to escape four times.

Now that we've eradicated odious misconceptions about this. Ahem.

Well, he needed better self-esteem that's for sure. At first that was what comes to mind.

He is an immensely heroic character,  who has touching and heartrending moments. The scene in the village he becomes mayor where the carriage is submersed in mud was astonishing; for a good deal of the plot it was my favorite! How touching it was. The quality of his character, if I may be so bold, is wordless.

Now... For Marius Pontmercy and Éponine the Great. Marius was a dear, that is the only description one may use, though he was a genuine prat to Éponine.  He was sweet, aside from that: My beliefs on the infamous "Cosette and Marius spoon" scene varied between laughing, rollings of eyes, making "piffle" "pbbbt" sounds and smiling insipidly. To depart from the romantic aspect of his character (What am I saying? That is about most of it!) he was not quite the most rational, realistic, personage in the eternity of writing. But he was kind, good, devoted, lovable, and determined. Ah, skip the determined. And replace it with the adjective "dreamy." As real life dictates... dreaming isn't always the best, but with him, sometimes, it's fine.

Éponine - She well deserved the title of "Great" for she was. I expected the preeminent love triangle... but of course a love triangle... yet somehow it failed to enduringly annoy. She changed from a piteous, nearly mad girl in poor surroundings to a lovely, heroic and courageous girl still in poor surroundings... but yet noble. SPOILER:SPOILER:SPOILER And her last words?

"I think, Monsieur Marius," the girl said. "I was a little bit in love with you."

And in the movie she SINGS A DUET with him, but, nevertheless..... But nevertheless I take umbrage at that flagrant disregard for any common emotion.

SPOILER-END:SPOILER-END:SPOILER-END. Did I just say Marius was lovable? Be that as it may, he is.

(N.B. I could have shouted at the page for him to forget about Cosette for four seconds enough to notice the poor, dis-affianced (Postscript: change that to in-affluent, I was unaware the definition of affianced was "engaged"), miserable, golden-hearted girl by his side of course.)

Hm. Inspector Javert. He had a variety of Crowning Moments of Awesome, and also Crowning Moments of, well, Crud. It was fairly a dead-giveaway with Victor Hugo's lovely comparison to the one wolf of the litter that the dam must kill for the others to make it out...
See, that character has many, many vulpine and lupine metaphors to his name. It is not very subtle but it's striking.
He was a bit Deus Ex Machina at times, that is to say quite often, but had his merits. As a character... Not really as a person. Regardless, who doesn't cheer (Soon to be ruthlessly and unspeakably cut short) when he lets Valjean go free?

THE EDITION.

I have recently gained the knowledge (From reading the cover inset, THAT WHICH I DO NOT RECOMMEND IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK) that this translation, Charles Wilbour's, was made by a friend of Hugo's (Yes, yes, I do mean Charles Wilbour) and indeed the original English translation. Applause.  Privately when the editions of Julie Rose's and Charles Wilbour's are set up beside eachother, I prefer Rose's. However, each of them DEFINITELY requires a lot of getting used to. Very much so, and that is the one of the great stumbling-blocks of this book.

TEH WRITING.

Deus Ex Machina parades on nearly every book, mind you (It's made of Parts e.g. "Cosette", Books e.g. "Waterloo" and Chapters e.g. "I") and occasionally that can become annoying but overall the best writing in it disguises its stilted moments. Occasionally there is ridiculously antiquated writing, but I note we don't complain as much about the modernisms in Julie Rose's translation. Telling. Numerous lovely, saccharine, heartrending, and beautiful moments were spread about SPOILER: SPOILER:SPOILER Just for Éponine's fall, not only do you want to use the word "fall" in lieu of "death" but it will stick with you, and everywhere you read it will be incorporated to a milieu of memory. SPOILER-END:SPOILER-END:SPOILER-END. It was beautiful. Cosette and Marius' meeting was enough to bring, consecutively, eye-rolls, "HAH"s, head-tosses, relieved sighs, smiles, and laughs. Good old couple, they shouldn't singly be remembered for the end.

The afternoon in Mont-Sur-Maire (M____ sur ____) I will always remember. It was "high fantastical". Deus Ex Machina....It was heartrending, one of the heartrending moments of the story. It honestly reveals the depth and goodness of Valjean's character, and the contrast to Javert's.

And the much controversial: Waterloo. Plainly I can't see why everyone complains... It spends sixty pages discussing something unrelated to the plot, but intricately interwoven with the setting of France and though not really underscoring the July Revolution, made recompense in the excitement. I consider myself a fairly prolific reader of history yet I could not find a more zestful one. Yes, sixty some pages digressing from the plot, Marius, the ABC and all is zestful. It hardly detracts from the quality, in fact adds, and an abridged edition cannot in my estimation past muster.

Mm. Yes. The Friends of the ABC got better. Please, please, please, take my word for it and STUDY THEM WHEN THEY FIRST APPEAR. I tell you, you will by no means regret it. Of course it will hurt even more that way. Brutality of war, mind you Reader.

Doubtlessly more elaboration will present itself, but I will simply close this review with the acknowledgement this is an unforgettable AMAZING book.

Mmm. Thanks for reading!

Erstwhile "Blogger", Eternal Bibliophile, Inestimably Long-Winded (Though, I am lachrymose to admit, little of that aforementioned loquacity was immediately evident.),

-Anacostia Mirabow-Marignac!